Lessons from a bride

(Jesus speaking: taken from a message given to a young disciple: )

“Yes My wind is wild and untamed and you’ve experience a bit of My unexpected nature but now you must pick up your courage and use what you’ve learned to come ride with Me once again and not fear it. Don’t fear Me, don’t say I am too unpredictable to trust… Haha sweet one! I am the God of the universe! I am wild! And I am teaching you to love My wild nature and to love flying with it! Come let’s run, let’s ride, let’s fly! With the crazy, wild, unpredictable nature of your God.”

Embracing the Hard Side of Jesus

I very much could relate to the heart roller coaster, fire-and-ice experience. I’ve had very similar feelings through some of life’s trials over the past couple years. And I have to keep choosing if “the relationship is still on”. Will I keep going with this challenging person called Jesus Christ? But I seem to just need Him so much, that whatever He is like, however He reacts, whatever He tests me in, hard to manage or not, I just can’t go on without Him. And His warm and loving side always makes up for it. So I’ve chosen, and I keep choosing to “Embrace the hard side of Jesus”. It’s part of the package deal.

Here are a few thoughts I’ve had, verses I think about, and what has helped me to keep on going and not be “offended” in Him, but to keep exploring Him, and proving that I really do want Him forever, no matter what that will mean for me. The other alternative is in no way attractive.

His “good” is just too good to pass up. So I need to take the challenging and straightening sides of Him with it, and learn to love them too. Since He is not going to change, and all He does is for good, it’s me that needs to change and learn to be a bit tougher and braver, and have more faith. I need to learn to be thankful for the way He is, and to love and be glad for His “hard and strong” side.

Others had tests on this too. Here’s what Jeremiah said:

Jeremiah 20:7 O LORD, thou hast deceived me, and I was deceived; thou art stronger than I, and hast prevailed: I am in derision daily, every one mocketh me.

In Isaiah, the Lord gives a clue that there would be times that His appearance would not be attractive—especially when on the cross:

Isaiah 53:2 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.

A rock of offence He is called—and His disciples need His “testimony” and “law” to make it:

Isaiah 8:13 Sanctify the LORD of hosts himself; and let him be your fear, and let him be your dread.

Isaiah 8:14 And he shall be for a sanctuary; but for a stone of stumbling and for a rock of offense to both the houses of Israel, for a gin and for a snare to the inhabitants of Jerusalem.

Embracing the Hard Side of Jesus

For full PDF Bible study with commentary (Please download here)

“I’m a sensitive person, and I first read through the Bible, cover to cover, when I was 16-18 years old. There were some places, many, that were just a bit too tough meat for me.”



“Stay By Me”

“I embrace all sides to Him, He’s a package deal.”





Secrets with Jesus #7-9 online

A Prayer

 “Jesus, I want to give all to You. I want to die to self and get rid of my pride. It always wants attention and recognition. Help me to live only for You. Your love should be the only thing I care about. I should just be worried about what You think. If I am truly thinking that, then all this other nonsense won’t even matter to me. All I want to think about is whether I am making You happy. Am I giving you love and praise? Am I desiring you and receiving from You? Or am I distracted because I didn’t get enough attention from people and now I feel useless? That is so shallow and lame. I should just think about whether I am loving You enough and showing you enough attention. You have given me so much. You show me love in so many ways. Sometimes I feel so spoiled. YET I still complain and feel sad. I know it’s just an attack of the enemy. But it’s my yucky pride that lets him in. It’s you I want to please. It’s You that I trust implicitly. I must just put all these things and worries into Your capable hands and know that you are working in each situation in the best possible way.

I am not going to second guess You or worry about whether You are doing things right. I must forsake my own doubts and hesitancy all throughout the day and resist every time the enemy and my pride team up to try to drag me back into my carnal mind. It’s a well-traveled path, and I seem to easily gravitate that way.  I know you gave me a mind so that I could think and work and make decisions for you. But a lot of the time, I need to set that mind aside and just listen to you and just take what Your Word says without question. That’s what I want to do. No matter how things look to me, I want to trust Your Word and what You say. When I hear something in prophecy, I will believe it. If things change, and you later tell me something different or if someone else tells me something different, YETI will still believe…

To see the rest of this prayer and Jesus’ answer (please download  “A prayer” pdf here)


“Put the mind into the spiritual realm, suddenly its feet aren’t on the ground, it seems to be floating, but it doesn’t know how that is possible or if it will suddenly be dropped.”




Reboot your life…drink new wine today.





A prophecy: the language of love

“I let down your hair and run my fingers through it. My soft touch is igniting. I massage your shoulders and run my fingers down your back. It’s nice that we can meet this way. Love the Lord with your mind.

Then I face you, with a look you can never erase. You know I want you badly enough to have gone through all it’s taken to get us to this point in time, in history. I simply crave you, more than you’ll ever know. I have to have you and will stop at nothing to get it.

Do you know what I mean when I say these words? No, you don’t, but you accept them. Like lovers speaking in different languages; they know they love each other and wish to express it in words, but the other one doesn’t hear what they are saying, only the love felt and the actions that follow. They know they can trust one another.

So lay back and let Me show My love to you. You are hearing My words, but one day You’ll get to know what I actually mean in full. You can’t expect to know it just yet. We have to wait.

We’ve loved long through the spirit of My written words, the guide, linking scripture to mind, taking you through the pathways and links.

Now it’s time I show you a bit more of My presence. Can I come into the room there? Can you lie down and see the visions I want to show you? I’ll come into you in secret ways, so still you won’t know it. But you’ll feel the change, the good change in your spirit. For the more of Me that you take in, the more like Me you become. The more like Me you are, the more fun we can have, because we can catch each other’s jokes, speak on the same terms, and know what each other is thinking without having to ask.

Let Me meld with you and embrace you. I’ll take off your outer garments and fit you out with a robe of Heavenly protection.”


“He sent His Word and healed them. There is power in the Words of Jesus. The moment you turn off the Words of God and turn on the sayings of the usurper that is your downfall.”




“Like lovers speaking in another language; they know they love each other and wish to express it in word, but the other one doesn’t quite hear what they are saying, just the love felt and the actions that follow. They know they can trust one another.”







A Bible Study with Jesus…Psalm 91

I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Jesus says:

Who can say this of Me? Who can have the privilege of stating from experience, that I, their Lord, have saved them time and again? Who can say that I have sheltered them and provided them with a place of refuge? Those, and only those, who have come to know it; those to whom I have granted this protection can say it.  And who are these? Well, if you are reading this, there is a good chance you are doing so because you love Me and wish to learn more about Me. And that is exactly who I give this special protection to.

And where is this “refuge” and “fortress”? Do you have to die and come into the realm of God, the Heavenly Kingdom of God in order to be really safe and well protected? Is that what it’s talking about?

Well, as you see in the passage, it’s not talking about a place, but a person. I am the refuge and the fortress. So, all you really need is Me, and you can be anywhere, experiencing anything, and still be safe and protected….for full PDF version please download here.

Psalm 91:2

“What do I mean by safe? Does that mean you won’t get sick or hurt, ever in your life? It can’t possibly mean that, since life without those things life would be rather challenge-free, and lesson-void.”


Keys are our Wilderness

“In the deepest despair, in the darkest night, in the depths of defeat there is rescue. Call on the power of the keys of the Kingdom, call My Name, call for My mercy, call for My help. Then wait on Me, and I will strengthen your heart. You will rise up and walk on.”





What makes you different

“The Love of God is far greater than pen or tongue can ever tell…” I wrote: I used to merely think I needed You, Jesus. This was a great step. Wonderful things happened when I made that realization. However, greater was my surprise when many years later, You let me in on a secret: You needed me too. It was almost too much to fathom, and perhaps I didn’t really grasp it for a long time; maybe I still don’t. But the wonder of it made me feel loved to a new degree never before felt, and wish to always be a part of You, to fill that need. And now, as the years again have rolled on, a new wonder, and revelation has come to my slowly maturing soul, that what You actually needed was me to need You! It’s not enough that I love You, or that I know You love and need me. But You need me to crave You, to never be satisfied with anything else. So that’s why I never do get full, I always have a hunger lingering in me. You made me that way. You made me to always desire You. When that is realized—that You are the only one that fills me completely, and that it’s most satisfying to You when I do crave you and long for You, then it all makes sense. And there is only one option for joy—that we are, forever, inseparably together; eternally. Your joy and my joy can only then be complete. I don’t have to wish that I didn’t have a hunger for deep love. I don’t have to be anything far out and wonderful to make You happy. I simply have to stoke up the fires of my craving to be utterly enveloped and filled by Your love, and be content to yearn for You above all—then You are satisfied, because You know I’ll stick around. When you see I am content with You and You alone, caring for nothing else above what I know only Your love can offer, then I get to enjoy satisfaction like I can only dream of. Only You can fill me like I’m created to want to be filled. I want you. I want You now. I want You in a million years. Because I want…I lack, I am not complete, and never will be without the part of You within Me that only You fit in to. We just fit like a glove; for You are the Maker of love. Not only, “The Maker” of that mystical thing called love, but the creator of the need for it as well.

Maker of Love



I am the master dream weaver

Jesus speaking: “Many shall come from the west and from the East and shall stand in their place in the time of the end, but the people of the Kingdom shall weep for they have not hearkened to My voice. With love I call them. I came, bearing gifts of inestimable value and they would not take them. Be not as the old for they seek after the flesh, walk after My word and I will exalt thee.

Who are those pillars; these are they that do the will of My Father. How can you know the will of My Father; by His Word, I am His Word. I am alive, I am moving, I am new, I am never still. God’s not dead, nor is He quiet. Look at man; he acts as if he invented speech, saying to himself, God does not speak anymore. I am speaking, I am always speaking.

So who are My pillars, they are those whom I can trust, those who follow Me, those who know Me. How can you know Me, how can I trust you. How is any relationship built? Communication, there must be communication. The more we communicate, the more I can show you, the more I can trust you with My Kingdom. But if one of My pillars stops receiving, stops listening, if they say to Me they can go no further, then how can they remain pillars. For a pillar holds up the building, usually the roof, but My building has no end, no roof, it grows, and it grows and it grows.

And so will I pour forth and pour forth and pour forth. But if you stop receiving for whatever reason, then you stop growing, and therefore you are not a pillar, but a wall, or a window, or a floor. My pillars are they that seek to be like Me and so not care what others think. They climb and they climb, their only wish is to receive more and go yet higher. They abhor stopping, for they know what that means, death. My pillars are those that are young, young in spirit, those that hear and obey. They are not perfect, but they are young. They cannot afford to grow old, for growing old means finishing, stopping. No, they are young in spirit as I am young in spirit. For every moment I am moving, I am being born from the mouth of God. I am created anew at every breath of His lips.

So too must My pillars seek after Me. Seek to remain fresh, seek to be My new and alive young bride, for such do I seek. For I have so much to give, so much to pump out. I need to pour out, for I am so full so very full, for there are so few who will seek out My new Words as fast as they come. So do I seek out My brides, and I would that they were many that I may lie with many and My passion be somewhat quenched.

So come to Me, for I have called you, and anointed you, and prepared you that I may fill you with My seeds. Don’t hold back, let Me in, let Me fill you with My golden seeds. I need you that I may feed many, for they are lost and know not the way. But they are not as prepared as you. So you must be My love slave for them. I have many wonderful things to give, all you must do is come, come into My chambers and be filled. You know not the way, you know not what is ahead, but I do, and I want you to know as well that you may lead those who will follow.

 So I say, don’t stop, don’t slow down, keep digging deep, keep sucking, and look not to man, look only to Me. I am your Shepherd; no one else can lead you where we go. Are you ready for the wildest ride of your life My love. Then sit still and give your heart to Me. For it is with Me that all your dreams will come true, for I am the Master dream weaver. With Me these are the dreams that truly satisfy; with Me is the life you truly wish to live. I can and will satisfy those who stick with Me. I know how to satisfy if you’ll trust Me. Do you trust Me. Do you want Me to take you higher? I can. I will, all you have to say is yes. I’m going to keep chipping away at you, trust Me. Hold on and learn to fight now. You may not feel yourself changing, but you are because you’ve asked it of Me. I will change you bit by bit. I love you. “


“ I am the Master dream weaver. With Me these are the dreams that truly satisfy.”




“For a pillar holds up the building, usually the roof, but My building has no end, no roof, it grows, and it grows and it grows.”









pillars of the end